Floyd Mayweather’s prison journal:

6:08 a.m.: I’m a five-time world champion. Doesn’t that rate a poached egg every morning?

6:45: Tattoo-wise, my cell block looks like the NBA All-Star Game.

7:23: They say, “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.” That’s the difference between me and Mike Tyson — he could do the time.

8:55: I need a bigger window with some sunlight. How can you shadowbox if you can’t see your own shadow?

9:12: If I lose any more muscle tone, inside of a month I’ll be Chris Bosh.

9:31: I’ve won three ESPY awards and they won’t let me watch ESPN in the a.m.? I’ve got to have my “First Take.”

10:19: Never thought I’d say this: I miss Arturo Gatti.

10:45: I volunteered for laundry detail, then I heard the Muzak they pipe into that stinkin’ room. No sir.

11:27: “Shawshank Redemption,” Schmawshank Redemption — I want to get out of here, like, within a week.

12:02 p.m.: I’m undefeated in the ring, but I had a real bad judge in court.

12:03: Worst decision since my semifinal loss to that Bulgarian pretender in the ’96 Olympics.

1:35: On the outside, I’m known as “Pretty Boy.” I ain’t no fool — on the inside, I just tell these folks I’m plain old “Floyd.”

2:48: How much “good behavior” does it take to get out of here?

2:49: Besides, I’m alone all day — who even notices I’m on good behavior?

3:10: I’ll never take two-ply bath tissue for granted ever again.

4:34: The next time the big boys up at the state capitol talk prison reform, I hope someone addresses the fact that the commissary here doesn’t carry JuJu Fruits.

4:42: I wish I were married: I sure could use a conjugal visit.

5:34: I’m the best pound-for-pound boxer in the world, but two more weeks of this prison food and I might be down to the best ounce-for-ounce boxer in the world.

6:01: For sure, they used to serve better dinners on Braniff flights.

6:53: This is why I hate Hollywood: In the “Rocky” movies, the white guy usually wins.

7:20: If I’m put under house arrest, I wouldn’t mind if it’s Will Smith’s crib.

7:38: Someone just told me Bob Arum’s never done a day in the joint. Now where’s the justice there?

8:07: I will never let my Bally Total Fitness membership expire again.

8:25: More felons around here than a Clifford Etienne Thanksgiving dinner.

8:51: In the ring, you have to protect yourself at all times; in the pen, you have to protect yourself even more than that.

9:13: I’ll fight Manny Pacquiao for free before I’ll drink water from a tap.

9:36: Waiting to hear back from the warden on my request to finish my term at the MGM Grand.

10:05: The lilacs near the basketball court are a nice, unexpected touch.

10:38: Yeah, I know it’s jail. I wasn’t expecting the Four Seasons, but I wasn’t expecting a Motel 6, either.

11:03: Man, it’s lights out here before “Chelsea Lately.” Need my Chelsea fix.

11:59: Best thing about solitary confinement? I’m by myself.